It's haunting me.

This feeling is so weird. I was happy until morning when a realization gripped me, that one day, I too will fade away into fine dust. Yes, sudden and weird... I'm scared of death. I can't imagine staying away from the people I love, even for a second, and death will take away everything from me. I keep wondering....how would it feel while breathing my last moment? how would it feel when my soul would leave my body? how? Will it pain? Whats next after that? Will I ever remember Myself? Will I ever be able to meet the loved ones I lost in the past? I try to pacify myself saying, we came into life all alone and we shall leave all alone too. ..shucks.. but it doesn't seem to work at all. I feel as if I'm leaving myself, abandoning myself. I feel as if someone is controlling me and my life.. watching my every single move.

My parents.. what would I do without them? My friends... what if something happens to them? I used to believe in not being attached to anybody in this world, but I'm a living being for god sake and attachment is our trait. Those who say, they are not attached to anyone are lairs... pure white lies!

It all started today. One of my friend's mother expired and it was a shock. Again after few hours, I get another news that my another friend's mother expired too. This was really too much for me to handle. I can't even imagine a life without my mother. What am I suppose to do, if something like this happens with me. Even giving it a thought scares me. The more I avoid the topic, the more it haunts me. And this leads me to thinking about future. Neither I nor you is immortal. The thought that someday I too will have to lay on the death bed sends a chill down my spine. Infact, old age is something that scares me even though I know that death is independent of age.

Now I better stop cuz when I'm not in a state of writing, I mess up with words.

I pray to god to give my friends and their family, the strength to cope up with life and also bless them with a happy future.

PS: Whatever written above is purely in a state of emotional instability! If you find anything offensive, please ignore.