Thoughts of the Worm

Finally this semester's over Learned a few things: 1) Leave childhood monsters behind. They will no longer come in our way if we are determined. 2) "Hope". We hope , that's why we are.  3) We make mistakes, hence we learn.  4) Stay strong even in the worst storm. It easy being a stone.. but if you got to be one, just be. GOD wants us to be strong. Hence he makes us  go through hell. 5) Bad things have no end.  I have stepped in this world of agony. A world full of wicked people. I would be recognized, not by what I am, but what I posses.... my skills, my knowledge are the only belongings I've to hold on to. Since I work my way, people assume I try to be different, which is so untrue. But I wont lose myself just to show off that I am with the crowd. I have the most precious thing in this world - ME. We must accept finite disappointment, but never loose infinite hope. -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Microsoft Vista for me is .... Bye Bye! The only thing I liked - "GUI"

Feeling really bad for what's happening around. It's for the first time, I sense  injustice. I never copy assignments like many do. I prepare notes on my own and I write them all by myself. Just like any other college, the number of xerox machines out do the originals. And you know what I get for all this work? .... I get a 7 on 15. And the people who copy get a 11 or 12 on 15. Am I jealous of them? If the word is jealous, then be it. Name it anything, but at the end of everything it's me who is affected, right? I'm not praising myself for 'self-writing' neither am I criticizing my friends for copying. I'm just agitated at the kind of result I got for all the work. Never in my life have I come across a situation like this. Just wondering what made me get a 7 and other a 12 on the same paper? See it's these things that make me go crazy. Being honest doesn't always help, isnt it?

Out of the many things that I keep pondering about, this one is the most prominent and also the most irking. Its about Me. ... who am I? ... what am I? ... what I am going to be? or what have I become? ... where am I heading to? Does anyone out there know about it? They say "Changes are meant for the good". Things that I've adored have been forcibly snatched away either by humans or by destiny. Can I still tag them as "Changes"??

I sing to myself With silent words. I talk to myself Under my breath. I play with myself In my mind. And I celebrate myself Every day. In my mind there is a vast prairie, Growing thoughts and words. In my mind there is a vast ocean, Full of songs of sorrow. In my mind there is a vast universe, Of wonder and imagination. In my mind there is a child, A child with powers unknown. This child ..I listen to her, I take her advice and listen. This child ..I talk to her, I make conversation and talk. This child ..I smile at her, I sit next to her and smile. This child ..I relax with her, I lay down beside her and relax.

You are the one my dreams are made of, Full of understanding, warmth and love. These feelings I thought for fairy-tales, But you are the winds that fill my sails. The honesty we share between us two, Keeps this connection very dear and true. We can talk about good times, talk about bad. Talk about the present and the past that we had. You accept me for me, for who I am. My opinions and thoughts you never condemn. There's nothing of me you ask or expect, We have for each other the deepest respect. It's truly amazing how you make my heart smile, And you do it with such a graceful style. Keeping my heart smiling all through the day. And for you, I do thank God, when I pray. You are the warmth of the sun upon my face, You're the calm to survive the rapid rat race. And when you call out my name, I get butterflies, Like a little school girl, with puppy love in her eyes. You can melt all the tension and ease all the pain, Making all refreshed as a cleansing spring rain. And lookin...

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying, " Hi How are You? " I am not the type to start a conversation in a lady's restroom, but I don't know what got into me and I answered, "Doing just Fine!" And the other lady says, "What are you upto?" What kind of question is that? At that point I thought, its too bizarre, so I say, "Uh, I am like you, Just traveling!" I was trying to get out as fast as I can, when I hear another question, "Can I come over?" Ok, this question was just too weird for me, but I figured I could be polite and end the conversation. I tell her, "No.. I am a little busy right now!" Then I hear the lady say nervously, "Listen, I will have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!" (Heehee... sad it wasn't me. I received this piece by email)

Sometimes reading a stranger's thoughts puts us to think... think of the times we've been through as the other person did. Wonderin' am I the only one to have gone through that phase in life? or is there a company? We blame destiny. We blame GOD. There comes a day when we blame ourselves. Something like the following... I break down, I cry, I tend to indulge into self-pity. I spend sleepless nights, I go on a hunger strike. I do all sorts of things to cause PAIN to myself -emotionally n physically. Then days turn into weeks and weeks into months. Even then I am are under the same trauma. WHY? Why do I cause so much pain myself.. so much that I can hardly bear my own existence! Why do I feel, Nobody loves me. ... cares for me. ... understands me. Why do I try to hide my feelings ? ... keep saying, "I love to walk in the rain, because nobody can see me crying"? ... begin to love this quote so much that it is seen scribbled at the last page of my books? ... or as a ...

As usual, while going through my emails and I came across this piece which took me by surprise. Let me remind you, it's not my survey but something that was forwarded to me. So I don't want people following me with Guns and goons! lol Read on... Salary and Government Concessions for a Member Of Parliament (MP) Monthly Salary : 12,000 Expense for Constitution per month : 10,000 Office expenditure per month : 14,000 Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : 48,000 ( eg.For a visit from kerala to Delhi & return: 6000 km) Daily DA TA during parliament meets : 500/day Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train: Free (For any number of times) (All over India ) Charge for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips / year (With wife or P.A.) Rent for MP hostel at Delhi : Free Electricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units Local phone call charge : Free up to 1 ,70,000 calls. TOTAL expense for a MP [having no qualification] per year : 32,00,000 ( i.e. 2.66 lakh/month) TOTAL expense for 5...

I was going through my mails when I came across this wonderful mail forwarded by one of my friends! It was titled "Know your Value!.. Plzz Read it" I thought it was one of those boring mails. Nevertheless I went through it. I found it to be a pretty good, inspirational e-mail. So just of posting it here.... A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a 500 Rupees note. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like to have this 500 Rupees note?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the note. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. Then he said, "My...

How I long to be Free! Free like a Butterfly.. Free from all worries... Free from all barriers... Free from all Biases... Free from all Fake Feelings... Want to be Myself.. I wish to Smile when I am really pleased.. Cry when I am really Sad.. Laugh when I am really happy, Scream when I am really Furious... I don't want to be an actor.. don't want to be another fool who keeps smiling even when hurt. Don't want to please others when I don't to! Don't want to be Friends with others Just because I will be left out... Wish to scream out and say "I love you" to the one I love and make them feel special.. Wish to say "You are really Bad" to the ones who really are... just to get them back to earth... Wish to tell the truth without getting Scared of the consequences! I Just wish to Be Myself!

Walking through an empty room , Its dark and quiet I see a light approaching Shines right in my face It blinds me .... Like a bat A bang on the door comes I startle and shake The room turns cold Very cold .... A dark figure enters A shot is fired. Laying there dying I start to smile .... My slow death Is upon me My dream is over I awaken from my bed A night well spent A dream ponders my mind The light remains in my head forever......

Today is the most funniest, frustrating, swearing-all-girls day. I lost the following things: 1. Wallet which contained - 1.1 ID (previous year) 1.2 Fee Receipt (this year) 1.3 CSI I-card 1.4 Library I-card 1.5 Library Book Issue Cards (all 3) 2. My Mind What was funny? - My wallet contained not a single PENNY, because this was the Cards-wallet. Conclusion: The robbers are MORONS and such moron-giri can be done only by girls.

And want it to Last Forever... True to myself? I know nothing of True, Real, Passionate Love. I've either loved hopelessly without being loved back, or been loved more than I thought any person could be loved, yet not loved the person back. But then I watch a couple of movies, hear a couple of songs, and go on with the small yet common knowledge of love that has happened in my life which I actually know of.

I sit alone watching them eating their pie the knife covered with remains the perfect slices trigger my taste buds Oh how I wish I had a slice of pie They all laugh and chuckle As they take more bites of the delight Ignoring me as if I'm a ghost to them Dead to the world Damn, I just wanted my slice of pie They didn't give it to me I never did anything to them I just wanted my pie So I took the knife One by one I cut their throats One by one I ate their pie I had the whole pie Bliss hit my veins Happiness flooded my body Sitting there Looking at my blood stained hands I laughed and smiled As I watched them lay there Lifeless.

I am trapped in a prison There are no bars There are no guards There are no inmates There are students There are teachers There are closed doors Its a prison The students are loud Noisy and rowdy The teachers are all too controlling The doors make me feel Trapped inside a prison Help me get out!

I found a new friend... and its not human. Well, neither its an alien... Its a cute little black colored crow. It makes daily visits to my window, feeds on bread crumbs, biscuits, rajama , boondi raita and maggie. It dislikes Idli and rice..We play catch-the- boondi everyday and it wins all the time. I simply love my crowiee. Hope this friendship is meant to last. When all backed out, it was only you who entered my life and showed me my way. GOD really has HIS ways of telling us that HE really Loves us :)