Trust & Vulnerability

Trusting was always difficult for me. Being vulnerable has never been an option for me because people take advantage when you are vulnerable.

And today, I come across this - We need to trust to be vulnerable. We need to be vulnerable in order to build trust.

What if I don't want to be vulnerable? does that mean I will never be able to trust or build trust?

here is another exercise -

people whos opinion really matter to me: 

nick baba, big daddy, hell's warth, gotya, jhula, door bhala... that's it.

what did I learn from the process of thinking about who belongs in the list? - these are the people who when provide me an opinion I sometimes simply let their opinions engulf me.. like letting them influence me. these turn into motivation factors for me.

do i always steam-roll over these important people in my life to gain the acceptance and approval? - NO

do i sometimes steam-roll over them if they provide any inputs? - Yes. So, now on i can be conscious when taking advice. listen to them and then evaluate before taking the call/making the decision.

Questions with 6 myths of vulnerability

1. I grew up believing that vulnerability was... not good for obedient young ladies.

2. For me, vulnerability feels like... physically - anxiety setting in. emotionally - will get me attached and the person will make a fool out of me. use my information for gossip and anyways leave me torn. my thoughts - no wonder, i hate vulnerability and exposing my true self to anyone.

3. my ratings on the 6 myths. rate on a scale of 1-5 how much i need to “unlearn.” (1=none, 5=a lot)

_5___Vulnerability is weakness.

_4___I don’t do vulnerability.

_4___I can go it alone.

_3___You can engineer the uncertainty and discomfort out of vulnerability.

_5___Trust comes before vulnerability.

_4___Vulnerability is disclosure.

4. In my organization, the messages and expectations about vulnerability are … 0

5. When was the last time I saw someone bravely facing uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure? big daddy - 2014

6. When was the last time I bravely faced uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure? 2014

7. When I reflect on how I want to show up and be seen as a leader, what do vulnerability and courage look like for me? Courage to balance between sharing just enough with my people and then demonstrate my failures and learnings. hoping to let people know its okay to fail.

8. What is one way I’ll experiment with being more vulnerable at work? maybe try giving honest feedback to my team and how it hurts when they don't talk in a remote meeting. need to think more.

here is the link to the 6 myths of vulnerabilities for reference - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shyness-is-nice/201905/bren-browns-netflix-special-busts-six-vulnerability-myths