Be the leader you wish you had!

basically i connected my TV to my laptop today. wanted to do something different.. something new. like the way i am... cant stay with the same regime everyday.

i guess that's the way my personality has been built.

1) not comfortable with everyday changes. inspect when its getting monotonous and gauge my level, then trigger the change based on my need.

2) maybe i always react to situations that don't show integrity - the case with Billu baba, something always makes me uncomfortable.

Am I just like him?

Do I advise instead of coaching?

Do I manipulate instead of coaching?

How do I balance between directing vs coaching vs advising?

Should I wear different HATS to think and then take actions?

So here is how i start with a purpose of learning a new skill - COACHING

Situation: Naradmuni comes to me with all situations, dumps on me who said what and directly starts advising based on his assumptions and self-introspection. Naradmuni does not spend time to listen and understand my side of the story. he counter questions whatever I say. that ends up creating a misunderstanding between me and Billo rani and now for sure with mr. robot-dickhead.

What I Feel: No space to state my side of the story. Naradmuni  does not bother to ask me my side of the story. He has already made his decision and has planned how to manipulate me to arrive at his planned outcome. Fun-fact: he doesn't realize that I am aware of this.

My Reaction: I stop him when he rambles without listening. I state my points, but I am aware that it may be interpreted as feeling defensive. But, unfortunately, I have to stop him to state my point.

My Assumption: Gyaani-baba must have told Billo-rani to share everything about me via Naradmuni if at all she gets uncomfortable. So, that way she is directly trying to communicate her view points to me via Naradmuni - makes sense. Now, our Naradmuni being the great Naradmuni he is, does not know of any other way to communicate these situations to me (we call it lack of leadership abilities).

Question to myself: How should I react in such situations? Why am I holding a grudge against an individual... especially Billo-rani. The problem is Naradmuni is unable to share the information in a way that enables problem-solving. Naradmuni is focused on people rather than the problem itself. basically, our Naradmuni is challenged to as a people-person.

What could I do here? 

1. I need to ask Naradmuni questions on whatever he shares - be it good or bad.
2. I need to ask him if he knows the intention of the other individual.
3. I definitely need to STOP him and ask him if he knows my intention. 
4. I may need to walk him through the situations slowly.
5. I definitely need to state boundaries clearly during any communication.

What would have I wanted from Naradmuni in this situation:

Ask me questions like -

1. "i read your note to mr. robot-dickhead. Is there anything troubling you?"
2. "is there anything I could help you with?"
3. "any situations you would like to share that is causing a problem?"
4. "what would happen if you did nothing?"
5. "did you try any other options?"

I could start practicing this within my kingdom.👼