Thoughts of the Worm

I hug mum with a "good bye" and hurry down the stairs. I was getting late for college. As I cover up a couple of steps, I hear a cat's mewl. Worried that it would pounce on me (though I'm an avid animal-lover, I'm skeptical about letting them get too close. ), I hesitate to step further. My eyes look around for that little thing, but it is no-where to be seen except that I could hear the soft mewls. I gather courage and proceed further. The mewls turn into yowls. Okay, I could sense that things were not that normal. Out of the blue, I see a little paw sticking out of the opening in the wall.... THE WALL!!!??? That "wall" is the wall on the third floor. That "wall" is open from the other side, that is this "opening" is the only thing that can save its life which unluckily is big enough only for that paw! One step to the north and that would the last step of its life. I gather courage to go near it all the while mum yelling that it wou...

Posts after posts.. my blogging frequency has suddenly increased.. guess there are many things happening at my end lately. I missed my college farewell. Wasn't too eager to celebrate anything after the loss of my cousin. I thought I just missed farewell, but I seem to have missed out on a lot of things as well. I never thought I would make a difference in a person's life so much that I would want to be with them again. During my journey in engineering, I met a couple of good people. I had fun with them, shared my moments with them. Somewhere in between we parted. I was hurt initially, but then as they say time heals, it did heal, but the very sight of them, reminded me of the most wonderful times I've spent with them. I'm bad at expressing myself when people pour out their emotions right before me. Maybe that's why I write. Anyway, so you see that is again a reason I wanted to miss farewell. Yesterday, out of the blue, the friend who I had met in my initial years of...

Out of nowhere.... just out of nowhere... I'm actually, really, sincerely feeling happy since a past few days. Dunno whether its the 'got-used-to-things' or 'the-real-thing' ... but I'm feeling good anyway. Now this isnt something I should be sharing .. lol.. but I believe happiness should be shared, no matter if the source to happiness is unknown.. :P I was unable to decide a title for this post... so I let it be. :P (June 30 2009; 12:32 am I finally gave a title to the post!) Ok...now for the actual post.... A few days back, a friend suggested that 'writing' is better than 'blogging'. He feels maintaining a diary is always better than blogging. One can actually 'Talk' to his/her diary... but not with a blog. Somehow I felt he was thoda right... but then not puking out to the world what I'm going through may actually bog me down. Then again... blogging every thought and ever swear (lol) .. its not feasible when you know its going on ...

My recent posts have been skeptical about things that matter to me the most. Events taking place these days have been too much for me to handle. Hence I let them out here. Anyway, I recently decided that I should let things handle themselves. You know at times you come across a scenario in life when things go haywire. You don't understand what you are actually suppose to do and you end up taking the most stupid decision ever. You get distracted by the chaos in your mind which in reality is a silence. You wish to break-free from barriers that stop you from achieving something only to realize you are floating in the air with no land beneath.  The feeling is painkilling... ofcourse not physically but it feels as if you're stabbing yourself and then convincing yourself that this is the RIGHT thing to do. You keep mum, amazed at the silence that greets you and mocks at you. You sit like a dummy HOPING for things to fall in the right track. But things keep changing tracks...finally ...

" Close relationships are making you very edgy. You mean to stay loyal but you get moments of insecurity which make you suddenly switch your affections off. Neptune is passing through the deepest, most confidential area of your chart and this brings up strange feelings, a need for something that lies beyond everyday reality. " My horoscope for this week... felt kinda weird cuz its true! I always wonder how can stars predict something about us. Infact, not the stars, but its the human mind which decodes the mystery of stars that amazes me. Neither do they know what am going through, nor do they know what I've been through. Is it something like we just relate our day's events to them or is it something that is really meant to be? I've no clue.. I've heard somewhere that every moment of our life, every other task, every other thought is predefined. Every action we take was meant to be taken. Every thought we think was meant to be thought. I'm writing my thoug...

A Crow preyed on the only egg layed by the pigeon in my empty flower pot! It stealthily took it away... all  took place in the blink of an eyelid. I was damn angry at the crow. Felt like strangling it. I was mad at the pigeon for laying an egg in a flower pot !! Later I realized I like crows, independent of the fact that they target the weaker ones. I like pigeons too-no one so innocent and sweet.. and oh so unclean, like them ;) Just because someone you love does things against your wishes or is unlike you, doesnt mean you stop loving them :) There.... another chapter learnt. Just remembered a quote I'd read somewhere .. At first, when we truly love someone, our greatest fear is that the loved one will stop loving us. What we should fear and dread instead is that we won't stop loving them, even after they are dead and gone.

I'm in no mood to wear a facade. I'm tired of trying to be someone I'm not. I do not wish to be the lifeless glass doll, all decked up. I do not wish to be the laughing clown, who laughs away his tears. I do not wish to be size 'zero', and end up with a 'zero' heart. I do not wish to have all the riches, riches which can buy no love.. no life. I do not wish to wait for a prince charming who will come on a white horse, why? isn't walking a better option? I do not wish for a lavish life. How am I going to enjoy when millions across the globe suffer? I do not wish to be the excuse for missing every opportunity. I would rather knock at the door that has the toughest of tests to clear. I do not wish to change my opinions... why should I give up to others' wants and desires? I wish to be the CHANGE this world needs. I wish to bring SMILES to faces all frowned. I promise myself to return myself back to me. I'm what I am. I was born to be ME.. not someb...