Thoughts of the Worm

Out of the many things that I keep pondering about, this one is the most prominent and also the most irking. Its about Me. ... who am I? ... what am I? ... what I am going to be? or what have I become? ... where am I heading to? Does anyone out there know about it? They say "Changes are meant for the good". Things that I've adored have been forcibly snatched away either by humans or by destiny. Can I still tag them as "Changes"??

I sing to myself With silent words. I talk to myself Under my breath. I play with myself In my mind. And I celebrate myself Every day. In my mind there is a vast prairie, Growing thoughts and words. In my mind there is a vast ocean, Full of songs of sorrow. In my mind there is a vast universe, Of wonder and imagination. In my mind there is a child, A child with powers unknown. This child ..I listen to her, I take her advice and listen. This child ..I talk to her, I make conversation and talk. This child ..I smile at her, I sit next to her and smile. This child ..I relax with her, I lay down beside her and relax.

Sometimes reading a stranger's thoughts puts us to think... think of the times we've been through as the other person did. Wonderin' am I the only one to have gone through that phase in life? or is there a company? We blame destiny. We blame GOD. There comes a day when we blame ourselves. Something like the following... I break down, I cry, I tend to indulge into self-pity. I spend sleepless nights, I go on a hunger strike. I do all sorts of things to cause PAIN to myself -emotionally n physically. Then days turn into weeks and weeks into months. Even then I am are under the same trauma. WHY? Why do I cause so much pain myself.. so much that I can hardly bear my own existence! Why do I feel, Nobody loves me. ... cares for me. ... understands me. Why do I try to hide my feelings ? ... keep saying, "I love to walk in the rain, because nobody can see me crying"? ... begin to love this quote so much that it is seen scribbled at the last page of my books? ... or as a ...

I never thought my life would become a past before my eyes I never thought tears would come before my cries But I now know that truth never lies Trying to hide myself from the world I'm the master of disguise. Nothing much. Tried to sound like I was under exam stress :P