BROKE UP to be FIXED!

May 19 - mum's bday! She turns a year younger with all her childish behavior which i hate but slso louv at the same time!! 

And then an exciting thing happens - my heart broke - this time it made no noise. Its yet to realize what has happened. Its in the ignore phase where its doing everything to not think about it. It made me reconnect with so many people! It made me drink tequilla and shut my mind.

Now i sit here wondering why did i not behave mad? Why did i not call him and yell at him? Why did i not aak him what happened? Because till now i have no clue what happened... and should i think about it? My heart wants to... but my mind knows its useless. There will be loads of time wasted just trying to understand what exacy happened! 

Except this time - I thought I lost a piece of my soul. He did not even ask what I wanted. He simply declared that he wanted to separate. It was all my mistake. I always fought for people. I was so sure that he would fight everyone for me. I thougt he would be there. I was very sure - he would accept me for being me, for all my weirdness... for the way I love, for the confused 'me' that I am.

The thing inside doesnt realize what has happened. Something has been crushed. Something inside hurts. Something inside has turned numb.

Should I connect with him without any expectations or just continue ignoring him? I think its time to become a little mature. Knowing my limits is what i have to learn and implement. He cannot use me anymore. No more! No one! I let people trample upon me and they did! Thats not me.... i cannot me nice to people who USE me!

Its time to Buck Up! Its a BREAK UP - yes it is! and its TIME to WAKE UP!! 😎😎😎 its time to draw a line to something that is against what is not RIGHT! 

Give me the strength GOD! :)